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 My hot 16

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PostSubject: My hot 16   Tue 29 Nov 2011, 10:43 am

Ok this is a poem. Don't get scared off just yet (I know how y'all feel about spoken word in general, so hear me out first. Here's a concept I wrote a couple of weeks ago set to a beat similar to Common's "The Corner". Read this poem set to that beat to get the full effect.

Here's the beat



Here's the poem

Sharecroppers:


One work for a company, one work on the block
One handling paperwork, one slangin' that rock
Both got families, both punchin' that clock
Both makin' that paper, both watchin' the cops
One poppin' that glock, one gamblin' with stocks
One got boxed in, the other got locked
Both got homes, both got jobs
Both on borrowed time, both reading these lines
One tellin' them lies, one got corporate ties
One focus on risin' the other focus on hidin'
Both wine and dine, both committed crimes
Both livin' they lives, both love husbands and wives
One run for office, one work for the FED
One wrong move, they'll both end up dead
Both know the ledge based on the ground they standin' on
Both come together to chant down Babylon. (c)

~Any feedback appreciated~
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arokone
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Tue 29 Nov 2011, 11:51 am

I love me some spokenword so no complaints from me.

I would rather hear you spit it as oppsoe to me reading your words. Either way I'm feeling the poem, thanks for sharing.

Peace
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Wanduras
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Tue 29 Nov 2011, 12:34 pm

Heyyyy, that shit was tight! I rapped it to the beat and it fit in perfect. The lyrics were dope, good job.
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Thu 18 Apr 2013, 6:05 pm

arokone wrote:
I love me some spokenword so no complaints from me.

I would rather hear you spit it as oppsoe to me reading your words. Either way I'm feeling the poem, thanks for sharing.

Peace

Here's the audio: I finally got around to doing it. Soundcloud didn't like the fact that I used someone elses beat, so I uploaded it to Bandcamp:

http://revue1.bandcamp.com/
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Dang! Trotter
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Thu 18 Apr 2013, 8:27 pm

Replying to post from 2011? Something wrong?
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:00 pm

That was dope. I see no reason to make your words more animated as long as it rhymes and the lyrics are nice like that.
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:32 pm

Dang! Trotter wrote:
Replying to post from 2011? Something wrong?

No, nothing's wrong. I'm just tying up some loose ends now that time permits.
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PostSubject: Re: My hot 16   Thu 18 Apr 2013, 9:33 pm

rez'82 wrote:
That was dope. I see no reason to make your words more animated as long as it rhymes and the lyrics are nice like that.

Thanks rez82! I appreciate the feedback.
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