If you dont know anything bout SA

YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN:

Ø You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer

Ø You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement

Ø You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car

Ø You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers

Ø To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750

Ø Hijacking cars is a profession

Ø You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light

Ø The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car

Ø More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election

Ø People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Patience, Precious, Innocence and Given

Ø "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month

Ø You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction

Ø Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway

Ø You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it

Ø A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes

Ø The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday

Ø You paint your car's registration on the roof

Ø You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital

Ø You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one

Ø Prisoners go on strike

Ø You don't stop at a red traffic light in case somebody hijacks your car

Ø You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once

Ø Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high

Ø When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans programme, and a Pedi ad

Ø The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are

Ø The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the programme you just
finished watching

Ø You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather

Ø You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume"

Ø You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any

Ø You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them

Ø You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela

Ø You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors
(long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously

Ø You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State

Ø You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA

1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.

2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.

3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.

4. You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.

5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?

6. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs,
drink a beer, put on make-up, re ad the newspaper and smoke,
all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.

7. Great accent. (!!!)

8. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the
most dangerous city in the world.

9. Burglar bars become a feature , and a great selling point for your house.

10. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.

11. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called.
The police you have to call about three times.

12. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.

13. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.

14. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.

15. A murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.

16. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!

17. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled

18. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!


19. Condoms for free - shopping plastic bags for sale

.....a lot of that is funny but sad also. I knew it was rough in SA but damn. I do like some of the laws though going by the jokes. Like prisoners voting and free electricity.

yeah man, everyone strikes here, from the bus drivers to the doctors down to the street sweepers. lol, everyones on the ''want more'' tip.

"5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?"

Cooooooooooooooool

lol, yeah, the afrikaners down here arent allowed to take their brandewyn (brandy) or fire wine into the rugby stadia, so they inject the alcohol into the fruit. we used to do the same at school all the time

Good stuff sinj.

Sinj wrote:

lol, yeah, the afrikaners down here arent allowed to take their brandewyn (brandy) or fire wine into the rugby stadia, so they inject the alcohol into the fruit. we used to do the same at school all the time

i dont think this shit would fly in the states...american stadiums/arenas are tight like customs...preganant women are the only allowed to bring outside food/drinks

6. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs,
drink a beer, put on make-up, re ad the newspaper and smoke,
all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.


.Maybe so..but uhhhh....KEEP YOUR FUCKIN EYES ON THE ROAD....

"lol, yeah, the afrikaners down here arent allowed to take their brandewyn (brandy) or fire wine into the rugby stadia, so they inject the alcohol into the fruit. we used to do the same at school all the time"

One of my High School Teachers used to do that when she was younger but it was vodka. I keep saying I'm going to do that one day.

Damn Sinj, is it hot like that there? That's hella grimey!

Are you tryna say South Afrikaaners are superior?

Some of that stuff is crazy.


Prisoners on strike- Maybe in the US they should make prison so bad that people wouldn't want to go. If youre homeless, you can comit a crime and go to prison for a while. Then you get a place to stay and free health care. You might be able to get a degree (depending on the prison).


On the other hand,
#15 could have some truth to it in the states.
People can steal millions and millions of dollars from a whole lot of people and only get a few months to 2 years in a really nice prison. If they get laws passed that allow that practice then that's even better. Hell, the more money you have, the better it is for you.

They can molest children, and get out after serving 2 years of their sentence for having good behavior (true story), but let them slang some crack one time and get caught, or have some weed on their person,vehicle or home.....They serve a lot of time for that. (I'm not saying that crack is harmless, I'm just pointing out how crazy laws are here)

Repeat ChoMos should get an automatic life sentence.

I've always wanted to visit the motherland before I get outta here...I think anyone who is black should want to go "home" before they leave here...some of that stuff is bugged out man, but I look forward to visiting someday....

Co-sign^^^^^^

make the visit man, this is such a beautiful continent, there is so much untouched and unspoiled land. culture is so prominent amongst society, and everyone knows who they are and where they come from, their ancestors and places of origin. one really finds their true self here. ill put up some pics ive taken over the years now now. on the subject of justice, a taxi driver the other day drove over a school girl driving a scooter, he got a twelve year sentence for pre-meditated murder as he saw her before proceeding with his turn, bull shit man, our president was formally accused of rape and corruption and found not guilty, he even publicly said that the cure for HIV after sleeping with a person with the disease, is taking a cold shower afterwards, our health minister a few years back said that the cure for aids, was eating lots of cabbage and cauliflower. i mean come on, but that somes up this country, beautiful and brimming, bursting and bubbling with potential, yet ran by a bunch of moogoos. not saying apartheid times were any better, but at least there was a sense of control and common sense. thats my soap box rant for now.

D.Powell wrote:

I've always wanted to visit the motherland before I get outta here...I think anyone who is black should want to go "home" before they leave here...some of that stuff is bugged out man, but I look forward to visiting someday....

Man, you dont wanna go to Afrika. That place is too disorderly with people hacking each other limbs off with machetes and whatnot. Not to mention the animals

Europe is a much more civilised place. Were everybody is nice and considerate. Nobody gets drunk at soccer games and racism isnt in their vocabulary.

" yet ran by a bunch of moogoos. not saying apartheid times were any better, but at least there was a sense of control and common sense. thats my soap box rant for now."

You lost all my respect there. Im gonna make it my personal goal to have you banned from this site

Dang! Trotter wrote:

D.Powell wrote:

I've always wanted to visit the motherland before I get outta here...I think anyone who is black should want to go "home" before they leave here...some of that stuff is bugged out man, but I look forward to visiting someday....

Man, you dont wanna go to Afrika. That place is too disorderly with people hacking each other limbs off with machetes and whatnot. Not to mention the animals

Europe is a much more civilised place. Were everybody is nice and considerate. Nobody gets drunk at soccer games and racism isnt in their vocabulary.

lol.... i think it was oscar wilde who said: "ignorance is bliss"

Bulgaria: Some sects are Racist towards the Romani people who are believed to be of different ethnicity and ancestory as the "original" Bulgarians

Sweden: racist against muslims

Cyprus: immigration towards the south has resulted in mass xenophopic (inter race racism) attacks

Ireland: Protestants vs Catholic

Germany: self explanatory

Netherlands: recent surveys show mass amounts of age discrimination

Spain: black football players are often boo'd off the field, as well as in italy

Just saying man, racism is everywhere.

Dang! Trotter wrote:

" yet ran by a bunch of moogoos. not saying apartheid times were any better, but at least there was a sense of control and common sense. thats my soap box rant for now."

You lost all my respect there. Im gonna make it my personal goal to have you banned from this site

heavens no, please dont.

I think DT was being facetious.

Im playing with you, Sinj.

sorry, i just stopped smoking so im looking for anyone to take my stress out on. will be more open minded to humour on this forum from now on

Sinj wrote:

Dang! Trotter wrote:

D.Powell wrote:

I've always wanted to visit the motherland before I get outta here...I think anyone who is black should want to go "home" before they leave here...some of that stuff is bugged out man, but I look forward to visiting someday....

Man, you dont wanna go to Afrika. That place is too disorderly with people hacking each other limbs off with machetes and whatnot. Not to mention the animals

Europe is a much more civilised place. Were everybody is nice and considerate. Nobody gets drunk at soccer games and racism isnt in their vocabulary.

lol.... i think it was oscar wilde who said: "ignorance is bliss"

Bulgaria: Some sects are Racist towards the Romani people who are believed to be of different ethnicity and ancestory as the "original" Bulgarians

Sweden: racist against muslims

Cyprus: immigration towards the south has resulted in mass xenophopic (inter race racism) attacks

Ireland: Protestants vs Catholic

Germany: self explanatory

Netherlands: recent surveys show mass amounts of age discrimination

Spain: black football players are often boo'd off the field, as well as in italy

Just saying man, racism is everywhere.

Damn Sinj-youre dropping some deep shit here...its good though..bring a world perspective into the forum...

"sorry, i just stopped smoking"

Stick with it, it'll save your lungs in the long run.

lol, im just worried bout my mind now and not losing it.

The jitters and edginess will pass once your biochemistry realigns itself.