Racist jokes (warning: offensive thread)

Dont wory,every body gets cut.
Black People:

Why are Black Elementary students usaully the tallest?

a. Cause their teenagers

Why did the Black guy want to bypass filling out the job application and go straight to the interview?
a. Cause he couldn't read or write

Why did the cop claim it was a civil matter when the Black girl accused a man for rape.
a. Cause the only thing the man was guilty of was not paying her

Why does Whoopie Goldberg wear hair weave?
a.So people wont confuse her with Bubbles the monkey

Why do Black men rather go to prison than be on house arrest?

a. Cause they hate spending time with their family.

Why is gay the new black?

a. Cause like Blacks, gays make a big deal out of color(s). And they have a fascination with booty. Have a strong relation with their mothers. Become friends with ugly White girls.

Two deer talking. "Ned, I heard you got hit by a car , froze up in the headlights"
"yeah, its true"
"well Im glad your allright, but I thought you were too smart to cross the road so recklessly"
"I am. But I was just surprised to see a bunny driving a 80,000 car in the suburbs"

Priest sees little Black child.
"My god, that child is the Omen, she got 666 on her forehead!"
"Naw, thats just a burn from the hot straightening comb"

WHITE PEOPLE:

Why do white people wear black gloves when eating Vienna sausages?
a. So they wont bite off their fingers.

Why do White people enjoy climbing the highest mountains?
a. So when they look over the world they can see what countries to conquer next

When did silly White people leave the caves?
a. When they found the exit

Why did rednecks have a hard time moving in their uniforms when the KKK was first establish?
a. They didn't have holes cut out so their eyes could see through

Why do elves secretly hate Santa Cluas?
a. Cause like most White men he stole their land and enslaved them.

Why do Whites go out and hunt deer?
a.Cause Blacks are now protected under the law.

When did White people start tanning?
a. They got the idea when they first started cooking raw meat

Why do White people always think their right? always
a Well most can admit their wrong,unfortunately it will take generations and then itll already be too late.

Two sharks talking. "Charlie, when should we attack that stupid turtle surfer that think he owns the water?"
"Lets wait till he tans himself some more, I like my White meat medium rare".

Jeffrey Dahmer arguing with his Black cellmate:
"Oh Im not a racist, I had Black people over all the time"

ARabs:

Wheres is the capitol of Suadi Arabia located?
a. In a gas station

Why don't Arabs like watching old western movies?
a. They hate seeing westerners transport themselves without using oil.

Why haven't Arabs taught westerns on riding camels?
a See above answer

Why do Arabs wear towels over their heads?
Cause they're afraid if they leave it in the linen closet someone might steal it.

Why do most Arabs CONDEMN the 911 attacks?
a. Cause they felt colliding planes into towers is a waste of fuel

Why are most car bombs foolishly mistaken for terror attacks?
a. Cause most those cars were electric and the Arabs are dislaying their hatred for them.

Why are Arabs contradicting themselves when they reject homosexuality?
a.cause normally they love it when a fuel pump is inserted in a "gas tank"

How did the Arabs come up with their language?
a. They tried communicating with a camel and the camel only spat in their face so they spat back.

Ethiopia used to be an Arab nation, what happened?
They ran out of oil.

Why are Arabs opening Fried food places in the hood?
a. they figure oil is oil, gotta make profit

An Arab on camel at a McDonalds drive thru:
"Sorry sir, drive thru is for cars only"
"In my country its custom to ride camels"
"Okay, whatever, wanna try our double bacon cheeseburger?"
"No I dont eat PORK-its poison!! But I will have 3 triple beef cheese burgers with a large fry and 4 jumbo large sodas"
"Will you be able to carry all those sodas on camel back?"
"Imbecile, thats why camels have humps, to store liquids!"

Asians Orientals.

Why are Asian men good cooks?
a. Cause they normally stay home while their wives go out and suck dick for the income

Why didn't the pig want to eat at the Chinese restaurant?
a. Cause the restaurant was too filthy

Why do Asians still use tchopsticks ?
a.Less dishes to wash.

Whats the difference between the Colonel's secret recipe and General Tso's chicken?
a. The colonel stole his recipe from slaves and General Tso never cooked chicken it was cat

Why are all Asain people have slanted eyes?
a.God just got lazy when he created the people of that part of Earth. And it shows.

Why is sex so cheap in Asian countries?
a. Simple economics. They have a large supply of hookers

"Have you seen an Asian vibrator?"
"Yeah, they're the size of a tchopstick"

Why don't westerners lump all Asians people together (Chinese,Japanese,Taiwanese,Koreans,ect.) like they do all African people?

a. Cause they're afraid of pissing Asians off and they may raise the price of sex tourism

Why did the Chinese build the Great Wall?
a. To keep the chickens from crossing over to the other side.

Stay tuned for part2 were I slam the Hispanics

What do New York City and C Tran have in common? MSG!!

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, i don't think you made that up KJ, but that shit is hilarious.

I've got one.

There's a Mexican, a Jew and a black guy going into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says "get the fuck out of here".

T. Myers wrote:

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha, i don't think you made that up KJ, but that shit is hilarious.

Thanks, glad you liked it. The original joke is "What do Soy Sauce and Marv Albert have in common.....No MSG" but my joke is funnier

Justin Linker wrote:

I've got one.

There's a Mexican, a Jew and a black guy going into a bar.

The bartender looks up and says "get the fuck out of here".

You stole that from facebook! Oh...wait...you were the one that posted it...

He stole that from Gran Torino.

Why are Asian's eyes squinty? Because they're always looking at their dicks!

How many jews can you fit in a metro?

5 in the car and a million in the ash tray.

LOL

TicNitty706 wrote:

How many jews can you fit in a metro?

5 in the car and a million in the ash tray.

That's mean.

How do Mexicans dock their ships?

With anchor babies.

What is a Rights To Passage for a Mexican?

Passing over the border.

Where did Whites get the idea you can ride a dolphin?

They got it from the Puerto Ricans when they was doing it to get over here.

Why do Mexicans make good gardeners?

They don't have to bend down to get close to the plants

Whats the difference between a Mexican household and a day care?

A Mexican's house has more kids

Shaun wrote:

He stole that from Gran Torino.

Why are Asian's eyes squinty? Because they're always looking at their dicks!

LMFAO!!!! Tran needs chopsticks and a magnifying glass to see his.

What did the little German boy get for Christmas?

An Easy Bake Oven and a G.I. Jew

Why did the Mexicans get banned from playing Uno?

Cuz they're always stealing the green cards!

Shaun wrote:

He stole that from Gran Torino.

Why are Asian's eyes squinty? Because they're always looking at their dicks!

I know he stole it from Gran Torino. I saw the vid on facebook before I saw his post here. So, I was saying he stole it from fb.

My humor = FAIL

What is needed to play Mexican Hopscotch ?

The US border

What goes on in a typical Hispanic 2-story home?

All the kids play down stairs, and the adults run the brothel upstairs

"I heard the US just bought the Great Wall Of China"
"Yep, they're gonna take it apart stone by stone,ship it over here and place it on the US/Mexico border"
"Wow thats gonna be alot of work and money to rebuild that wall on US soil"

"Yep, they're gonna get illegals to do it"