Real talk Vol. 2

Remember the last thread I created regarding the issues with my separation? Well, things are a little different now as opposed to several weeks ago when I created that thread, however, I wanted to discuss something else. I'm not dwelling on the situation like I used to, but I wanted to get several opinions on the matter. And yes what you're about to read is based on something that happened to me last year.

Ok, let's say you and your significant other, assuming you both are married, separated for whatever reason. You try sincerely, not desperately, for a reconciliation, and not only are you rejected at every single turn, but you're constantly told "all we need is time", "we need time apart", "I don't want to be in a relationship right now", etc, and then 1 month or 2 later, another man enters the picture. Now hiphop4life fam, after reading that, doesn't it seem like this is something she wanted all along, regarding another man coming into the picture, not long after telling me "all we need is time"?

yes

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

yes. I done told you wayne... she was cheating or wanting to cheat... she just wanted to "separate" first to make her feel like less of a lying, cheating whore.

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Southern Rap Pro wrote:

yes. I done told you wayne... she was cheating or wanting to cheat... she just wanted to "separate" first to make her feel like less of a lying, cheating whore.

Clearly no respect for marriage.

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Losing your job was probably her way out. She had probably been looking for a way out for awhile.

T. Myers wrote:

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Losing your job was probably her way out. She had probably been looking for a way out for awhile.

I agree with that, and that was clearly confirmed when she showed LITERALLY NO SYMPATHY @ all when I got terminated, no sympathy at all. No "I'm still by your side" or none of that. One of the main reasons why I lost my job was due to all of the things I was going through at home.

I agree with everything said on this thread Wayne. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

I had the same shit happen to me in March 2008 minus the marriage and losing my job. It hurt really bad too. I had been with this woman for 4 years and she cheated on me. The bitch went so far as to fuck up my credit rating by withdrawing money out of a joint bank account we shared. She was mainly doing this to buy cocaine. When I found out she was a coke head, I wanted to dump her immediately but she talked me into keeping her around. When I found out she was unfaithful then I had to get rid of her. I also found out the guy whom she cheated on me for and beat his ass. I felt so bad that I almost ended up committing suicide, but family and friends talked me out of it. Nothing is ever worth doing that over, especially not a phony bitch.

I was unable to find a suitable roommate to replace her in the crib we were living in, so I ended up moving back home. I really don't regret that decision because it's helped me rebuild my credit rating with the money I've been saving, and when I finally get my finances in order I'll be able to buy a crib outright.

About 6 months later, I started seeing a new chick and I've been with her ever since. My ex-gf then had tried to get me back and I told her to go to hell. While life has been a roller coaster ride the last few years, with the help of God and my loved ones I've been able to weather the storm and it's made me stronger. The experience you're going through will do the same for you, Wayne. You just have to believe in yourself and have faith in God and you can overcome any bad situation.

If that bitch couldn't appreciate you, then that's her loss. There's a thing called Karma, all the bad things that she did to you will eventually come back to haunt her. You're a great guy Wayne, you just need to get over your ex and move on. It's much better to be single than to be with someone that treats you like shit. Eventually you will find a woman who will treat you much better and will show you the love that you deserve.

Eastern Rap Pro wrote:

I agree with everything said on this thread Wayne. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

I had the same shit happen to me in March 2008 minus the marriage and losing my job. It hurt really bad too. I had been with this woman for 4 years and she cheated on me. The bitch went so far as to fuck up my credit rating by withdrawing money out of a joint bank account we shared. She was mainly doing this to buy cocaine. When I found out she was a coke head, I wanted to dump her immediately but she talked me into keeping her around. When I found out she was unfaithful then I had to get rid of her. I also found out the guy whom she cheated on me for and beat his ass. I felt so bad that I almost ended up committing suicide, but family and friends talked me out of it. Nothing is ever worth doing that over, especially not a phony bitch.

I was unable to find a suitable roommate to replace her in the crib we were living in, so I ended up moving back home. I really don't regret that decision because it's helped me rebuild my credit rating with the money I've been saving, and when I finally get my finances in order I'll be able to buy a crib outright.

A little over 6 months later, I started seeing a new chick and I've been with her ever since. My ex-gf then had tried to get me back and I told her to go to hell. While life has been a roller coaster ride the last few years, with the help of God and my loved ones I've been able to weather the storm and it's made me stronger. The experience you're going through will do the same for you, Wayne. You just have to believe in yourself and have faith in God and you can overcome any bad situation.

If that bitch couldn't appreciate you, then fuck her. There's a thing called Karma, all the bad things that she did to you will eventually come back to haunt her. You're a great guy Wayne, you just need to get over your ex and move on. It's much better to be single than to be with someone that treats you like shit. Eventually you will find a woman who will treat you much better and will show you the love that you deserve.

That first paragraph reminds me of Sometimes I Rhyme Slow

Eastern Rap Pro wrote:

I agree with everything said on this thread Wayne. I'm really sorry that you're going through this.

I had the same shit happen to me in March 2008 minus the marriage and losing my job. It hurt really bad too. I had been with this woman for 4 years and she cheated on me. The bitch went so far as to fuck up my credit rating by withdrawing money out of a joint bank account we shared. She was mainly doing this to buy cocaine. When I found out she was a coke head, I wanted to dump her immediately but she talked me into keeping her around. When I found out she was unfaithful then I had to get rid of her. I also found out the guy whom she cheated on me for and beat his ass. I felt so bad that I almost ended up committing suicide, but family and friends talked me out of it. Nothing is ever worth doing that over, especially not a phony bitch.

I was unable to find a suitable roommate to replace her in the crib we were living in, so I ended up moving back home. I really don't regret that decision because it's helped me rebuild my credit rating with the money I've been saving, and when I finally get my finances in order I'll be able to buy a crib outright.

About 6 months later, I started seeing a new chick and I've been with her ever since. My ex-gf then had tried to get me back and I told her to go to hell. While life has been a roller coaster ride the last few years, with the help of God and my loved ones I've been able to weather the storm and it's made me stronger. The experience you're going through will do the same for you, Wayne. You just have to believe in yourself and have faith in God and you can overcome any bad situation.

If that bitch couldn't appreciate you, then that's her loss. There's a thing called Karma, all the bad things that she did to you will eventually come back to haunt her. You're a great guy Wayne, you just need to get over your ex and move on. It's much better to be single than to be with someone that treats you like shit. Eventually you will find a woman who will treat you much better and will show you the love that you deserve.

Wow, that's deep right there KJ, and you're not the only one who has had suicidal thoughts. Through the grace of God, my mother, and others close to me, it didn't happen. Once my mom said, "think about your son, be there for him, be strong for him, he needs you", that's all it took. I'm NOT leaving my son behind without a father, especially based on something I'm going through with a woman, wife or not. I'm handling it better and I certainly feel like I'm over her. I emerged from all of that stronger and better than I was last year around this time, and I cosign a million percent on the Karma comment.

Biggie had suicidal thoughts too

Steve wrote:

Biggie had suicidal thoughts too

Steve, Steve, Steve. You and your sarcasm. Although I'm talking about something real here, I can't help but slightly laugh at your comment, lol.

T. Myers wrote:

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Losing your job was probably her way out. She had probably been looking for a way out for awhile.

That's the rizzle dizzle right there. They want to break up with you but not feel bad about it. Reasons stated are irrelevant. If one party doesn't want to work through the problem then it's done. It's like being Siamese twins and you're being chased by a bear and one says fuck it, why they wanted to stop running is irrelevant because the results are the same. The problem consumes the relationship.

TheHazardous wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Losing your job was probably her way out. She had probably been looking for a way out for awhile.

That's the rizzle dizzle right there. They want to break up with you but not feel bad about it. Reasons stated are irrelevant. If one party doesn't want to work through the problem then it's done. It's like being Siamese twins and you're being chased by a bear and one says fuck it, why they wanted to stop running is irrelevant because the results are the same. The problem consumes the relationship.

They want to break up with you, but not feel bad about it, and if one party doesn't want to work through the problem then it's done. Yes indeed. Well said.

What ever happened to "stand by your man" you know.

Steve wrote:

Lol.

Wayne wrote:

What ever happened to "stand by your man" you know.

I don't know if this has been stated already so I'll simply ask and apologize in advance if it has.

Does the thought of finding someone new to connect with seem daunting? Are you trying to hold onto this relationship because you fear going through trouble of trying to make a new one?

Just buy a woman. If you need help, ask Steve for instructions

I never paid for sex, not once, not ever.

TheHazardous wrote:

Wayne wrote:

What ever happened to "stand by your man" you know.

I don't know if this has been stated already so I'll simply ask and apologize in advance if it has.

Does the thought of finding someone new to connect with seem daunting? Are you trying to hold onto this relationship because you fear going through trouble of trying to make a new one?

I can answer your first question with an obvious no. The second question, well, at one point it did seem like I was trying to hold on, but that's no longer the case. I'm a little hesistant in certain ways, but it's not going to stop my progress.

Steve wrote:

I never paid for sex, not once, not ever.

Ok now, lol. Lets not turn this thread into something that's not meant to be, lol.

Wayne wrote:

TheHazardous wrote:

Wayne wrote:

What ever happened to "stand by your man" you know.

I don't know if this has been stated already so I'll simply ask and apologize in advance if it has.

Does the thought of finding someone new to connect with seem daunting? Are you trying to hold onto this relationship because you fear going through trouble of trying to make a new one?

I can answer your first question with an obvious no. The second question, well, at one point it did seem like I was trying to hold on, but that's no longer the case. I'm a little hesistant in certain ways, but it's not going to stop my progress.

The best way to find a new relationship is not to look for one. That's not to say that you can't holla at chicks but when you go out, don't do so with the intent of finding Ms. Right all the time. When you adapt that attitude, the best a man usually gets is Ms. Right Now, if that.

I met my current girl at a pool hall. I saw her playing against one of her friends and she was missing shots left and right so I gave her some tips and pointers and she got better. She then gave me her number without me even asking for it. We then began talking and after 3 dates we were in a relationship.

You'll find someone new in due time, and that person will treat you better than your ex did. Just be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

Eastern Rap Pro wrote:

Wayne wrote:

TheHazardous wrote:

Wayne wrote:

What ever happened to "stand by your man" you know.

I don't know if this has been stated already so I'll simply ask and apologize in advance if it has.

Does the thought of finding someone new to connect with seem daunting? Are you trying to hold onto this relationship because you fear going through trouble of trying to make a new one?

I can answer your first question with an obvious no. The second question, well, at one point it did seem like I was trying to hold on, but that's no longer the case. I'm a little hesistant in certain ways, but it's not going to stop my progress.

The best way to find a new relationship is not to look for one. That's not to say that you can't holla at chicks but when you go out, don't do so with the intent of finding Ms. Right all the time. When you adapt that attitude, the best a man usually gets is Ms. Right Now, if that.

I met my current girl at a pool hall. I saw her playing against one of her friends and she was missing shots left and right so I gave her some tips and pointers and she got better. She then gave me her number without me even asking for it. We then began talking and after 3 dates we were in a relationship.

You'll find someone new in due time, and that person will treat you better than your ex did. Just be patient. Good things come to those who wait.

Good things do come to those who wait, I'm with you there.

Just remember to keep social. Can't catch salmon if you don't go fishing.

You can buy salmon at the grocery store. All chopped up and fileted for you.

TheHazardous wrote:

Just remember to keep social.

No doubt about that.

Southern Rap Pro wrote:

You can buy salmon at the grocery store. All chopped up and fileted for you.

That's fishing by proxy. The equivalent would be someone setting you up, but seeing how commerce is involved that could take on a totally different meaning. As stated he said he doesn't buy "fish".

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Now thats fucked up. But at least you found out if this is truly the main reason you think she left how low down and fucked she is. How long were y'all married?

And yes it sounds like she already had dude on the sideline anyway. If not as a lover as a "friend".

And KJ never never ever share an account with a women unless you are MARRIED. And even then you betta make sure she is worth that type of trust.

KRob86 wrote:

Wayne wrote:

T. Myers wrote:

Yes, it sounds like she wants companionship from someone other than you.

Had I done something like that, I'll be labelled the most evil, non caring person in the world. And all it took for this to happen is me being terminated from the best job I ever had (thus far)

Now thats fucked up. But at least you found out if this is truly the main reason you think she left how low down and fucked she is. How long were y'all married?

And yes it sounds like she already had dude on the sideline anyway. If not as a lover as a "friend".

Married for 5 years Kev. Talk about loads of time invested into someone, and she was my first everything, and when I say everything, I literally mean everything. Regarding the dude on the sideline, I had my suspicious @ the time (you ever had pit feeling in your stomach that something just isn't right?), but as usual, I was called "insecure", "paranoid", and "jealous", but I wasn't having those feelings for nothing. I woke up in the morning with those pit feelings, took it to work, and went to bed with it, only to wake up the next day, rinse, repeat.

Always trust your instincts when it comes to that shit. Even if you are just paranoid, yadayada, you're not happy in that situation..

Kid Joe wrote:

Always trust your instincts when it comes to that shit. Even if you are just paranoid, yadayada, you're not happy in that situation..

And trust me when I say I was nowhere near happy at that point. Not necessarily miserable, but I was mainly stressed and paranoid, day in, day out. You're NOT supposed to "walk on egg shells" around your significant other.

Damn. I'm glad that you've moved on Wayne. Hearing stories like yours and KJ's makes me glad that I have a daughter so that I can teach her not to grow up and be that kind of woman. Mad respect for trying to make it work out, you're a stand up guy.

Wanduras wrote:

Damn. I'm glad that you've moved on Wayne. Hearing stories like yours and KJ's makes me glad that I have a daughter so that I can teach her not to grow up and be that kind of woman. Mad respect for trying to make it work out, you're a stand up guy.

I hear you. To this day, I still honor, value, and respect what marriage stands for. It sacred to me, and it should be. Believe me, I tried everything I could, but got rejected at every turn possible.

Wayne Maye move on my dude....dump her man.....take care of your seeds, and be respectful as you can of her name in front of them


other than that you don't owe her anything else my dude....go out and get as much different pussy as one dick can maintain.....maybe on a few of those adventures you'll get lucky and find that other woman to replace her, or at the very least you'll have a damn good time...REAL talk man!

D.Powell wrote:

Wayne Maye move on my dude....dump her man.....take care of your seeds, and be respectful as you can of her name in front of them


other than that you don't owe her anything else my dude....go out and get as much different pussy as one dick can maintain.....maybe on a few of those adventures you'll get lucky and find that other woman to replace her, or at the very least you'll have a damn good time...REAL talk man!

Being respectful of her in front of my son, I have no problem with that. I have no axes to grind or anything bad to say about her, and with the type of person I'am, I wouldn't do anything of that nature.

Wow! That's really messsed up Wayne. I agree with most of what Powell said. From a woman's point of view, Instead of going out and running through women right off the bat, take some time to find closure before you decide to do bachelor status full time. Because if you don't seek closure, you'll take all of that old baggage into your next relationship, and bring hell to it.

Any woman who leaves her man because he lost his job is a gold digging ho and deserves to be kicked to the curb. I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you.
And I agree with what Kev said regarding KJ's situation. Never, ever put another person on your bank account unless you're married, and she has exhibited financial responsibility while on her own, as well as with you. My husband and I have a joint account, and 2 separate accounts. I have my own acct and he has his. The bills and home expenses get paid from the joint, and whatever money he has left over in his account after he makes the electronic transfer is his, and whatever is left over in my account is mine to do whatever I see fit.



LMAO at T. Meyers.

Anyone who has anything other than a joint account, and they're married are destined for divorce. There is no reason for that.

It's my scientific opinion based upon numerous cases.


And I would expect most women to leave if a man loses his job; if a man can't hold down a job he probably can't hold down a woman. No offense intended to anyone who may have lost a job.

KRob86 wrote:

And KJ never never ever share an account with a women unless you are MARRIED. And even then you betta make sure she is worth that type of trust.

Oh believe me, I ain't never making that mistake again.

thatonethere wrote:

Wow! That's really messsed up Wayne. I agree with most of what Powell said. From a woman's point of view, Instead of going out and running through women right off the bat, take some time to find closure before you decide to do bachelor status full time. Because if you don't seek closure, you'll take all of that old baggage into your next relationship, and bring hell to it.

Any woman who leaves her man because he lost his job is a gold digging ho and deserves to be kicked to the curb. I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you.
And I agree with what Kev said regarding KJ's situation. Never, ever put another person on your bank account unless you're married, and she has exhibited financial responsibility while on her own, as well as with you. My husband and I have a joint account, and 2 separate accounts. I have my own acct and he has his. The bills and home expenses get paid from the joint, and whatever money he has left over in his account after he makes the electronic transfer is his, and whatever is left over in my account is mine to do whatever I see fit.



LMAO at T. Meyers.

Thanks for the kind words. It's appreciated. I certainly didn't deserve any of those things that happened to me.

yea i agree with you Wayne and im sorry man, women tend to do this to us, reel us in and then leave when convenient

Slang Editorial wrote:

yea i agree with you Wayne and im sorry man, women tend to do this to us, reel us in and then leave when convenient

I know what you mean. They say "things happen for a reason", and one year later, I still haven't been hit, if you will, with the actual, be all end all reason of it happening.

Wayne wrote:

Slang Editorial wrote:

yea i agree with you Wayne and im sorry man, women tend to do this to us, reel us in and then leave when convenient

I know what you mean. They say "things happen for a reason", and one year later, I still haven't been hit, if you will, with the actual, be all end all reason of it happening.

cosign exactly man, then they use the excuse "i dont want a relationship at this point in my life", "im going in a different direction right now and want to be single", and the infamous "ITS NOT YOU, ITS ME" is the one that really kills me, especially when they still claim they love you, weak ass shit man

^^^ Both men and women do this to each other. It all boils down to whether or not each party can fully let down their gaurd, trust each other, and be there for each other no matter how hard it gets.

Some people are afraid of doing or dealing with anything potentially difficult in their lives, and they feel the need to detach themselves from the difficult situation, even if it means hurting someone.

Regarding having other accounts plus a joint acct = different strokes for different folks.

I look at it like this. As long as the bills get paid, there is food in the house, and all expenses are met, then I'm good. It doesn't hurt to keep extra funds for surprises (vacation, car/home repairs, etc)

Steve wrote:

Anyone who has anything other than a joint account, and they're married are destined for divorce. There is no reason for that.

It's my scientific opinion based upon numerous cases.


And I would expect most women to leave if a man loses his job; if a man can't hold down a job he probably can't hold down a woman. No offense intended to anyone who may have lost a job.

Steve you are one useless person. You say some of the most disrespectful shit on this forum just to get attention. I ignore over 90% of it but I can't ignore that dumb ass statement.

Now I do understand if a women has a man who consistantly loses jobs, I can see your commments having some truth. But if you mean in general.......

^^^

Looks like someone has some personal experience there. Sorry pal

KRob86 wrote:

Steve wrote:

Anyone who has anything other than a joint account, and they're married are destined for divorce. There is no reason for that.

It's my scientific opinion based upon numerous cases.


And I would expect most women to leave if a man loses his job; if a man can't hold down a job he probably can't hold down a woman. No offense intended to anyone who may have lost a job.

Steve you are one useless person. You say some of the most disrespectful shit on this forum just to get attention. I ignore over 90% of it but I can't ignore that dumb ass statement.

Now I do understand if a women has a man who consistantly loses jobs, I can see your commments having some truth. But if you mean in general.......

I co-sign Kevin. Seriously Steve, how do you know Wayne's situation? You don't know the conditions in which he lost his job. I know people who got canned unfairly. Besides, the way it sounds she was cheating on him BEFORE he lost his job so I don't think that had much to do with it.

Regardless though. Any woman who leaves a man solely because he lost his job is a trifling ass bitch. Kev is right, it's one thing if a man is ALWAYS fucking up and not providing for his wife and children, but that doesn't seem like the case here. That chick just sounds like a scandalous bitch that can't stay faithful.