FML (F My Life)...A place to tell quick random, embarrasing stories about your life!!

See Fmylife.com for examples...

Here's one:

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

LOLOL...Hilarious...and ya already know my story, so FML.

Today, my car wouldn't start at work so I had to get a jump from a cop.

Only to find out, I have a front headlight out. And no insurance.

FML

thatjuicesince85 wrote:

See Fmylife.com for examples...

Here's one:

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

LOLOL...Hilarious...and ya already know my story, so FML.

So you get off to bestialitity? That's gross man.

Esco wrote:

thatjuicesince85 wrote:

See Fmylife.com for examples...

Here's one:

Today, I was watching an animal behavior movie. All of a sudden, it brings up two snails going at it. I got hard watching it. FML

LOLOL...Hilarious...and ya already know my story, so FML.

So you get off to bestialitity? That's gross man.

Naw that was just an example from the website...not my personal testimony...plus its insects...i don't think that qualifies as beastiality.

Lord Emperor N3R0N0N wrote:

Today, my car wouldn't start at work so I had to get a jump from a cop.

Only to find out, I have a front headlight out. And no insurance.

FML

LOL...Damn...I guess u deserved that one.

So, we decided to buy my 16 year old son a car for his birthday. He looked out of his window and said "what's that piece of shit doing in our driveway?" FML

That wasn't a story about YOUR life, Shon. C'mon now.

Shon wrote:

So, we decided to buy my 16 year old son a car for his birthday. He looked out of his window and said "what's that piece of shit doing in our driveway?" FML

Nonetheless...still funny...lol

...Yes it is

You don't have a son.

Did you not see the thread about kids? I have great, great, great, great grandchildren, fool

Jesus christ.

Jesus Christ, indeed

I posted something intelligent on a forum...and Kool John responded.

Fuck my life.

Gay

Gay as in the story or what actually happened.

Gay as in it wasn't a good FML moment. You can come harder (noooooo homo) than that

No homo? I don't even think saves you from that?

That's why I put nooooooooooo. I knew what was going on

I bet youd did

I can tell one of my stories but none will believe me.

Shon, N3ro - take that shit to the beef section or gay love section... can't decide which direction y'all are headed.

About 12 some years ago I thought I would be nice and cut the weeds out of my mother's flower garden. We didn't have a weed wacker at that time, so I decided to use a brand new butcher knife (yes, scissors would have been easier. I'm a blond though, what can I say?) but when I got about half way done with what I was doing I was gonna go get some Kool-Aid and I threw the knife straight down into the dirt so it would pierce through, and I let go of the knife too late and shit severed my right pinky toe.

Motherfuck my life

I made a post earlier about how much of a sad douche Cory has been...and then he killed himself and now I'm being sued for cyber-bullying.

Fuck my life.

I bought a house about 4 years ago when the prices and interest rates were really high. Now my house isn't worth shit and I'm stuck living in this dying neighborhood for god knows how long.

FML

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again.

FML

Lord Emperor N3R0N0N wrote:

I made a post earlier about how much of a sad douche Cory has been...and then he killed himself and now I'm being sued for cyber-bullying.

Fuck my life.

lol your such a fag.

lol @ esco's story

that shit happens, especially with older people.

Esco wrote:

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again.

FML

LOLOL...dumb broad!!!

I had to explain how a debit card works to a 43 year old man over the phone, and after 34 minutes and 43 seconds, he still didn't understand. When he asked to speak to a supervisor, I told him that I was the supervisor. He didn't believe me, and told me that I didn't know my job. He ended up hanging up the phone out of frustration. He called back 2 minutes later, spoke to me again, and he complained about speaking to me before (saying that I shouldn't have my job and that he wanted me fired because I was "rude"( even though I was doing everything in my power to not hang up the phone). The big dummy didn't even know he was talking to the same person he spoke to earlier. I told him the exact same thing I told him the first time, and he left the call feeling better after ANOTHER 53 MINUTES of pissing and moaning!!!!.....

FML

I took a personal day from my job to find a new job, then the job I applied for called my current job and my current job fired me and told the job I applied for I no called/no showed to apply there.


funk MY LIFE

I am apoligetic for that story, N3R0. That's some bullshit

Back in High School, my girlfriend(whom i was madly in love with) cheated on me with my best friend at a neighborhood party, i found out at work the same day i got fired(Subway)...I was 17 fucking years old, you shouldnt have to be put into a situation like that so goddamn young....FML

I got robbed at knifepoint in Tijuana,MX,and had my shelltoe Adidas jacked as well...I walked thru the streets of that dirty fuckin town in my socks...FML

Shon wrote:

So, we decided to buy my 16 year old son a car for his birthday. He looked out of his window and said "what's that piece of crap doing in our driveway?" FML

LoL...Good One.

"Back in High School, my girlfriend(whom i was madly in love with) cheated on me with my best friend at a neighborhood party, i found out at work the same day i got fired(Subway)...I was 17 fucking years old, you shouldnt have to be put into a situation like that so goddamn young....FML"

Damn, that ish happened to me, too, except I didn't get fired. And the cheating happened well more than once. Ha

First post so don't ridicule ..

10 years ago there was a party at my house and my 200 records were stolen. I had borrowed some dude (x) 5 records at an earlier time and it felt good when i picked em up a month later. At least i a bit of music to listen to. Three years later i heard it from from a friend that in fact (x) had robbed me. And apparently, when i picked up my 5 records he'd hid my whole collection under the bed. The fuckin nerves of this dude...

I got the insurance so FML might be a bit overstated...

First of all, welcome to the forum grind88. Second off, did you kick his ass for stealing your shit?

Grind, what he did to you definitely deserves and ass kicking. No matter how long ago it was, you should go to his house and dish it out.

That dude went bananas after some guy felt up his 8 yo sister at his house. He served a big-ass sentance. And then he just went the wrong way...
Im not steppin to that guy..and you wouldnt either.

I would. Especially if he stole my collection of 200 records. Most of which are probably rare as fuck now.

I got new copies eventually.