Worst/Most Hilarious Reviews Ever

I just saw this review of the film Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai on imdb:

"3 out of 5 people found the following review useful:
Sweet!, 23 June 2003
Author: (mjr203) from in a dumpster watching samurai

Hi, this movie is all about REAL SAMURAI. This site is awesome. My name is Robert and I can't stop thinking about. These guys are cool; and by cool, I mean totally sweet.

Facts: 1. Samurai are mammals. 2. Samurai fight ALL the time. 3. The purpose of the samurai is to flip out and kill people.

Samurai can kill anyone they want! Samurai cut off heads ALL the time and don't even think twice about it. These guys are so crazy and awesome that they flip out ALL the time. I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

And that's what I call REAL Ultimate Power!!!!!!!!!

If you don't believe that samurai have REAL Ultimate Power you better get a life right now or they will chop your head off!!! It's an easy choice, if you ask me.

Samurai are sooooooooooo sweet that I want to crap my pants. I can't believe it sometimes, but I feel it inside my heart. These guys are totally awesome and that's a fact. Samurai are fast, smooth, cool, strong, powerful, and sweet. I can't wait to start yoga next year. I love samurai with all of my body (including my pee pee). "

This review shows that not only has the reviewer not seen the film but does not care and simply posting his act of idiocy on the internet for everyone to see in an attempt to get some kind of "recognition". I did however, find it hilarious.

This got me thinking - I've seen ridiculous reviews of music and movies all the time. Not just on Amazon, but on the professional level as well.

What are some of the worst/most hilarious reviews you have read?

Half wrote:

I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

Lol, that made me laugh.

I love that movie though.

Steve wrote:

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LOL

Dwight wrote:

Half wrote:

I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

Lol, that made me laugh.

I love that movie though.

Yeah I dig the movie. It's the only Jarmusch(?) film I've seen though.

Half wrote:

Dwight wrote:

Half wrote:

I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

Lol, that made me laugh.

I love that movie though.

Yeah I dig the movie. It's the only Jarmusch(?) film I've seen though.

Definetely check out Dead Man and Stranger Than Paradise. Those are two of his best.

Dwight wrote:

Half wrote:

Dwight wrote:

Half wrote:

I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

Lol, that made me laugh.

I love that movie though.

Yeah I dig the movie. It's the only Jarmusch(?) film I've seen though.

Definetely check out Dead Man and Stranger Than Paradise. Those are two of his best.

Will do.

I just realized that Marlo Stanfield was in this movie for a total of 10 seconds

Half wrote:

I heard that there was this samurai who was eating at a diner. And when some dude dropped a spoon the samurai killed the whole town. My friend Mark said that he saw a samurai totally uppercut some kid just because the kid opened a window.

So random that it really is hilarious. Cool movie though. When it comes to Samurai I enjoy watching Zatoichi films, they are always interesting to me.